Exhibit 1- "The Moocher"
While fellas do participate in this, I would have to award this title to females. Single ladies do not spend hours matching their pencil skirts, with sexy pumps for nothing. Needless to say, men notice; but nothing is more annoying/pathetic than lurking around a group of guys "expecting" them to buy you a drink. I think Fergie said it best: "if you aint got no money, take your broke ass home." Ladies have some respect, if a guy offers to buy you a drink fine, but please don't be the "lurker" that shakes a tush to get a drink.
Exhibit 2- "Bad Smelling Mongul"
Three words: Gum. Deodorant. Body Spray. Please and I repeat please do not go to the club with "funkiness" as your aroma. Whether you're male, female, black, white, asian, I just ask you brush your teeth, check your armpits, and spray perfume. Stank does NOT accessorize with any outfit!
Exhibit 3- "The Stalker"
People may want to think twice about accepting a drink from the opposite sex while at the bar. Some mean well, but others will continually talk to you all night thinking you owe them something. NEWSFLASH: a $7.00 contribution to a bad habit does not give someone the right to be a creeper all night. In conclusion, if you buy someone a drink, expect a smile and high five. If you get something more--consider yourself lucky.
Exhibit 4- "Story Teller"
Ever experienced a bar conversation like this?
You: Hello what is your name?
Guest: Pat, and you?
You: Alex. I came to have a drink and unwind. What brings you here?
Guest. Oh, I am laid off, and going through a divorce. My wife left me for our kids tennis coach and its been a really hard year. I really needed to come out and get a drink.
You:(awkward) Sorry to hear that, it was nice meeting you...
Guest:(interrupts) yea it's really hard to meet people once you have been married for so long. (guest continues to talk about themselves for hour!)
No one likes a sad drunk. If you are having a hard week, try inviting a friend to chat with, because spilling your life to a stranger is nothing but pathetic.
Exhibit 5- The overly, belligerent, intoxicated: Drunk
Lets face it, we have all been the person at the bar who is : screaming, yelling, and making a complete embiesel of themselves. Then you wake up in the morning, only to realize you remember none of it. So next time your buddy is making an complete jackass of themselves, do them a favor and call a cab. They will thank you in the morning.
Exhibit 6- Cock-Block
Ever been interested in someone you just met, and just when you think you're about to get their number/take them home--your friend interrupts. Ladies and gentlemen, not now nor will it ever be okay to interfere on someone's romance life. Look, if you are miserable and lonely at the bar, there are many ways to make yourself look desirable. Like, talk to a server, hit the dance floor, or find the another single person and start a non-storyteller conversation. Whatever diversion you use, just don't cock-block the friend having a good time.
No one likes anyone who performs any of these inappropriate behaviors, and in the event you do... then you are probably single, alone, and going to stay that way for a very long time. Do yourself a favor, the next time you and your entourage are about to head out....remind them of the "BUZZ KILLER" checklist!-LisH
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