Making a difference, one city at a tiMe.

Choices reveal a lot about individual's personality. Whether it’s the language, food, or music choice; these factors relate to one topic: culture. Being from Texas, I always considered myself open-minded, but after moving to Boston I found people to be anything but usual. The beauty of your own culture is it's normality, so learning something new can often be a challenge, and rude awakening. 

Luckily I had the opportunity to take a class in my undergraduate studies called Intercultural Communications. My professor Dr. Dana Janbek taught me the importance of not only embracing change, but accepting it. After several class debates and rigorous lesson plans, I realized I participated in unconscious racial slanders and unnecessary stereo-types. I felt the need to make a difference, so I took on a self project called: Inner City Bliss. 

I had the opportunity to volunteer at an inner city church called Emmanuel Baptist, located in Worcester, MA. While I was a little hesitate about the experience, it was truly an amazing journey. In the beginning I had little expectations about the project, but to my surprise I left the program feeling as if I had a made a difference. 

For my project, I worked with fourteen inner city teenagers (age 14- 16) for five weeks, and focused on the topic of identity. I came into this project with a strict lesson plan, but after one week the children made it perfectly clear they were interested in discussing certain key terms that related to their own experiences. One particular lesson we discussed was from our class text book Communication between Cultures, which focused on the three level of identities; human, social, and personal. (Samovar, Porter, McDaniel, 2009)  

With this study, I learned students based a majority of their identity on how their peers viewed their material possessions, verses their individual personality. When asked “what identity means to you” twelve of the fourteen students replied, 

“the clothes I wear” 

“the friends I hang out with” 

and “the sports I play.” 

After discussing their answers, it was clear the students were more concerned about what their peers thought, verses how they viewed themselves. It was also disturbing that five of the students classified themselves as “nerds” , because they did not have the funds to keep up with the latest trends.  I immediately reminded the children, possessions do not define a person, character does!

With that said, I challenged the kids to hang out with someone who was not considered “cool” and get to know their personality.  To be honest, I did not expect the kids to follow through with this assignment, but to my surprise the kids had interesting revelations. 

Apparently there was a boy by the name of Mason, who seemed to be ridiculed quite often by his peers. The children claimed he had body oder, wore glasses, and was not popular with the ladies. After starting the challenge, two of the boys found they shared a similar interest in music, and liked the same video games as him.

I also learned nine of the fourteen children attended the same school, and after our classes, took initiative to acknowledge one another. I felt I was making a difference when one of the girls approached me after class and said “Ms. M, I am glad you are teaching us, because the boys do not make fun of me at school anymore.” At that moment, I realized this project was making a difference in children’s lives. 

After five weeks of discussing identity, the students and I reflected on what we had gained from this course. All of the students agreed that material things are nice, but they do not define a person. They also learned that sometimes doing the “uncool” thing, is really the “cool” thing to do.  I learned that being in high school is not as easy as I remember, and sometimes talking to students and enlightening them on the important things in life, (like education, and health) can really make a difference in their future. 

The Divorce of American Politics

Is it just me, or are we in the middle of a nasty divorce? I am appauled how the political parties lack bipartisanship and can not come to a conclusion that will better the majority of the American people. I understand both parties have concerns with tax cuts, but we ALL have to sacrifice in order to reach a mutual agreement. 

Philosophers have created many ethical theories throughout history. John Stuart Mill suggested one called Utilitarianism which states, "when faced with a dillema, one must consider the potential outcome of the  consequences and choose a solution that will generate the most pleasure." Meaning: the action should  achieve the greater good for the most amount of people.

According to an article posted by CNBC, "4.78% of US households claim millionaire status for year 2010." The study defines millionaire households as those with $1 million or more in investable or liquid assets (excluding sponsored retirement plans and real estate).Obviously 4.78% is low, meaning the billionaire percentage is lower; thus the majority representation of Americans are middle and lower class. If we apply Mill's theory to this revelation, it is certain the majority( middle class)  would not benefit by increasing taxes and the minority (high class)  would continue to benefit with unnecessary tax cuts. 

Lets face it, a majority of Americans are middle class and feel this economic hardship. People are loosing their jobs, foreclosing homes, and small businesses are having to shut down after several decades of operation. How can Congress sleep at night knowing Americans are facing economic adversity? 

I am a recent college graduate who attended a private university with a $34,000 year tuition. I find it frustrating I ranked top of my department, yet all the positions in my feild aren't hiring. Jobs that are hiring do no require a degree, thus I am confused as to why I spent all this money. At times I would like to send goverment officials my student loans and tell them they are more than welcome to take on the payments until this economy becomes lucrative again.  

According to Congressional Budget Office,  the U.S. debt is at an all time high (excluding the World War II era) due to these primary factors:

• An imbalance between federal revenues and spending (which predates the recession) 
• Unstable economic stability in financial markets
• And federal policies which were implemented (due to the two prior factors), and resulted in a domino effect. 

I end with this: Our economy is not a child that officials can fight over through an egotistical divorce. What if Americans decided not to vote in the 2012 elections? What if  our nation met for drinks, verses taking to the polls? I can guarantee this country would be complete anarchy and crumble.  But fortunately we live in the United States of America, with a democracy and ability to vote for our rights. So I ask officials to rememebr who elected them in office, and do what is best for EVERYONE; even if it means doing something you don't agree on.  

"The people may have voted for a divided goverement, but a they did not vote for a dysfunctional goverment."- Obama 7-25-11

LisH

Feel free to conduct more research at the following sites:

http://www.cnbc.com/id/39405689/US_States_with_the_Most_Millionaires_2010

http://www.cbo.gov/doc.cfm?index=11659

Dysfunctional People

Do you ever feel as though some things in life just DON'T make sense. I am really questionable as to how some adults are able to live alone without supervision. Within the past year I have seen people do the unspeakable and would like to the opportunity to share these escapades with you.

Lets start with my recent tangent: trip to the ghetto Dunkin Donuts. Mental picture, I am placing my usual order at drive thru a medium ice carmel swirl,  cream,  and two sweet and low. Simple enough huh?
"We outs of coffee?" replies the hood-rat.
Considering I am at place whose majority menu is coffee,  I assume I heard wrong. I reply with "Excuse me, what?" and once again he replies with "Ma'ma we outs of coffee, what else you want?"
Mind you I've NOT had my caffeine fix, and a little on edge. I decide to pull my ghetto-ness out and reply "WHAT ELSE CAN YOU SERVE? You are known for Coffee!?
In the mist of my diva moment, I pull off only to notice the person in front of me was "on foot" getting food thru the "DRIVE THRU".
Pretty sure it's a called a DRIVE thru for a reason... You NEED a car,  otherwise you would simply go inside. On that note I had to just leave the hood, and head back to what I know best... THE SUBURBS--where I found a Starbucks! :)

I am also aggravated with advertisements that play on emotions. For instance, the one with the battered animals pleading for viewers to spend only $19 a month to save a life. Is it bad that when I am at the mall about to buy clothes, the commercial comes across my mind. I have fallen victim to donating...TWICE! And not to mention the starving children in other countries. I swear they run that ad more during the hours of 6-9 p.m. (dinner time), because every time I about to devour a nice meal; a skeletal kid appears on TV and I'm suddenly full--of GUILT!

Out of sight, out of mind. Right? (WRONG!) When at a restaurant, I typically do not think about how my food is prepared. I just imagine cooks using gloves, and preparing my food in the most sanitized way. Well let me share a personal experience I had at a food joint the other day. (I will not disclose the name for slander/defamation purposes.) So I'm in my fav food joint getting my regular (vegetarian bowl) and notice one of the cooks sweating profusely. Considering its over a 100 degree's outside, I dismiss the fact he isn't wearing a hat to ensure the sweat doesn't get in food (gross, I know.)
All of a sudden this man has the NERVE to dig in his booty and pull out a wedgie; THEN continue to prepare the meat. Well anyone who knows my obsession with health concerns understands I did NOT take this lightly. I immediately screamed "OH HELL NO" and jumped line  to speak with the gentlemen.
I asked if he noticed people could see him and his sweaty forehead; not to mention he was digging in his booty preparing food! He looked embarrassed (as he should be) and apologized. I replied, "don't be sorry, just wash your hands!" The manager offered to give me a free meal, but I explained he would need to give EVERYONE a free meal, along with a barf bag! I refused to eat the food, and left the store feeling empowered. Needless to say, I RARLEY eat out anymore, and encourage you to look at the people preparing your food.

 I wish these stories were made up,but unfortunately people are just this dumb and nasty! While these are only a FEW crazy stories, I encourage you to share as well. I find it therapeutic and entertaining. -LisH

Facebook--The 13th Grade

Facebook is life after high school, and better referred to as: the 13th grade. Don't get me wrong, Facebook can be used for many purposes; like interacting with people across the world and networking for occupational purposes; but it can also be abused by people's narcissistic ways. While I am guilty of both pleasures, I would like to examine why Facebook has become a household topic, and the reason for peoples unstable mental stability.

I'll admit, I was a Facebook whore! I would catch myself checking the newsfeed every 30 minutes and stalking my enemies on a daily basis. I even became depressed, because I would view "glamourous" things my friends were doing, and felt my social escapades were not up to "par." Needless to say, Facebook was taking over my life and I didn't realize it. So I took a break, and realized how many pet peeves I had. Thus the inspiration for this blog;  to analyze how Facebook can be an egotistical playground for insecure human beings. 

1. Check ins-- Remember when you bragged to your friends about your cool weekend plans in high school? Well I feel like "check-in" is the adult version of that! Not only do you give people geographic access to your location, but also have the opportunity to boast about your fun. Don' get me wrong, I think "checking in" at Cabo, Mexico, or a funky bar with friends is fine. But what's not cool is checking in at your home or grocery store! GuESS WHAT? I don't care that you're "Getting a diet coke"--@ Wal-Mart. Do you think its cool your at Wal-Mart, because its not; its really really not!  Don't abuse the "check in" application, instead utilize it for cool purposes only!

2. Relationship status-- This Facebook pet peeve is simple, either you are single, in a relationship, engaged/married. Unless you are noticeably joking, posting any other status is EMBARRASSING. No one needs to know your relationship is complicated. In fact, instead of posting "it's complicated" why don't you get off FB and go work on it?

3. Pokes- It's an understood rule that when the opposite sex playfully hits/touches you, it's considered flirting. I guess that's Zuckerberg's purpose to the "POKE"; an indirect way of flirting via cyber space.  None of my "friends" poke me;  it's typically people whom I ignore or do not associate with. So I'm confused by this feature because I feel it's a little stalkerish, and could be considered cyber sexual harassment. (Kidding) But seriously, people should skip the poke, and post a simple hello via wall or message.

4.Tagging-  Is it just me, or do you get tagged in the tackiest advertisements that have no relevance to you? Like the ugly Nike and bootleg Christian Louboutin shoes, or the girl (whose's half naked) posing in the bathroom, and not to mention the cheap club promotions with fake celebrities.  Last time I checked I did not look like a shoe, I'm not a slut, and I only attend clubs; not promote them. So save yourself the time and stop tagging people in these ridiculous post. 

5. Angry Post-- I find it crucial not to vent on FB, because it makes you look pathetic. Somethings are okay, (when balanced with comical relief) but if you are having baby mama/daddy trouble,  FB is not the place to air their laundry. I would suggest waiting an hour to let your emotions subdue, then take to Facebook with a more reasonable approach. (& I'm writing this from experience)

6. Glamours Life Style--No one has a perfect life, not even Angelina Jolie. So I find it interesting how people try to make their lives seem so much better than others. I get very annoyed when people post pictures with fabulous captions, then have the audacity to text me crying about their problems. Why would you want to portray your life as something it's not? If you just bought a new home, and leased a new car; yet your credit cards are maxed out and your stressed, then why post how wonderful your life is? I'm glad to know when good things are happening to people, but be true to yourself, because people can smell fraudulent a mile away. 

7. "Like" I am almost certain people on FB can't read,  because I  don't understand how you can like a status that states "attending my grandfathers funeral" "just lost my job" and "I have herpes". If you are liking things like this, please visit www.webster.com and look up "like". 

While the sensational movie Social Network intertwined the Hollywood aspect to Mark Zuckerberg innovation, it also highlighted his motive: for people to be socialites, vein, and incredibly entertaining--all in the same token. (Are you guilty of this pleasure?) -LisH

Actions speak louder...Than Definitions

Have you ever walked with your significant other, and noticed an attractive person from the opposite sex?. What do you do; non-chalantly glance at the person, or dare to do a double take? I guess the more important question is:What would you expect your significant other to do? 

While I know the dictionary exist for a reason, I am still uncertain if Webster can give universal definitions to all words. Sure you have general terms such as guitar, television, ect; but what about the words based off emotion? For instance: infidelity, which Webster defines as:

a : unfaithfulness to a moral obligation 

b : marital unfaithfulness or an instance of it.

While the word maybe defined, the actions are questionable. Most men have one definition of cheating: physical. The "head-turing" and "flirty text messages" do not count, but the second you kiss, have sex, or perform physical activity; the act of infidelity has been reached. I would disagree, because while getting physical is cheating;  having an sexual innuendo conversation with the opposite sex falls under Webster's A&B definition.

To put this all to rest, I think cheating should be broken up into degree's, similar to the courts ruling of murder. Let's analyze this more closely. 

The Degree's of Cheating:

First Degree:

In court, first degree is typically considered deliberate and "pre-meditated"; meaning you're plotting to cheat on your spouse. Example: You've been in a relationship for two years, and things are getting boring. Ironically someone new is hired at the office, and they're extremely attractive. After a few weeks you exchange numbers, and begin texting after business hours. Now to me this is considered cheating, but some would argue no harm has been done--but the plot thickens. 

Your significant other is out of town for the weekend, and you deicide to have an "innocent" dinner with the colleague. Now you could go on the date in jeans and t-shirt, but instead you choose a restaurant with nice attire, and dim lights. After a few glasses of wine, you decide to take the party back to their house, and needless to say, you hook up. I would argue this act is deceitful, planned, and calls for a "kick to the curb" from your spouse because the act of cheating began when you exchanged numbers. 

Second Degree

Now this is typically an "in the moment" act. Meaning, it was spur of the moment, and you did not anticipate for any sexual attention to occur. For instance, you and a co-worker (who ironically is good looking) are on a business trip and you two get completely drunk after a long day of conferences. One thing leads to another, and you wake up with a bad hangover, no recollection of the previous night, and a co-worker next to you. 

Prior to the hook up, there was never any conversation/interaction between you and this employee; so it is hard to decipher how you two ended in bed. I would have to quote T-Pain and say " Blame it on the al-al-al-cohol." I'm sure many people can vouch for having one to many cocktails, and waking up to drunk text or ex's in your bed. But the truth is, they are "in the moment" mistakes and forgivable.

While cheating can be defined, it's hard to measure which actions coincide with the meaning. I believe the degree's of cheating can help determine the severity of the consequences, yet the ultimate result is based on one thing: the individuals. Whatever degree you and your spouse have, it is strictly between y'all. But I think my mother put it best when she said, "anything you would not tell your spouse is considered cheating." -LisH

Buzz KiLLer!

After a long week at the office, we all understand the luxury of "letting loose" on the weekend. Whether it's happy hour at your favorite spot, or having a night with your entourage; nothing is more annoying than the classic "Buzz Killer". What is a "Buzz Killer" you ask? Simple. Any scenario you repeatedly experience, (at the bar) that screams: "you're a loser, you have no social life, and please go home." Let's delve into a few we have all experienced.

Exhibit 1- "The Moocher" 

While fellas do participate in this, I would have to award this title to females.  Single ladies do not spend hours matching their pencil skirts, with sexy pumps for nothing. Needless to say,  men notice; but nothing is more annoying/pathetic than lurking around a group of guys "expecting" them to buy you a drink. I think Fergie said it best: "if you aint got no money, take your broke ass home." Ladies have some respect, if a guy offers to buy you a drink fine, but please don't be the "lurker" that shakes a tush to get a drink. 

Exhibit 2- "Bad Smelling Mongul" 

Three words: Gum. Deodorant. Body Spray. Please and I repeat please do not go to the club with "funkiness" as your aroma. Whether you're male,  female, black, white, asian, I just ask you brush your teeth, check your armpits, and spray perfume. Stank does NOT accessorize with any outfit!

Exhibit 3- "The Stalker"

People may want to think twice about accepting a drink from the opposite sex while at the bar. Some mean well, but others will continually talk to you all night thinking you owe them something. NEWSFLASH: a $7.00 contribution to a  bad habit does not give someone the right to be a creeper all night. In conclusion, if you buy someone a drink, expect a smile and high five. If you get something more--consider yourself lucky. 

Exhibit 4- "Story Teller"

Ever experienced a bar conversation like this?

You: Hello what is your name?

Guest: Pat, and you?

You: Alex. I came to have a drink and unwind. What brings you here?

Guest. Oh, I am laid off, and going through a divorce. My wife left me for our kids tennis coach and its been a really hard year. I really needed to come out and get a drink. 

You:(awkward) Sorry to hear that, it was nice meeting you...

Guest:(interrupts) yea it's really hard to meet people once you have been married for so long. (guest continues to talk about themselves for hour!)

No one likes a sad drunk. If you are having a hard week, try inviting a friend to chat with, because spilling your life to a stranger is nothing but pathetic. 

Exhibit 5- The overly,  belligerent, intoxicated: Drunk

Lets face it, we have all been the person at the bar who is : screaming, yelling, and making a complete embiesel of themselves. Then you wake up in the morning, only to realize you remember none of it.  So next time your buddy is making an complete jackass of themselves, do them a favor and call a cab. They will thank you in the morning. 

Exhibit 6- Cock-Block

Ever been interested in someone you just met, and just when you think you're about to get their number/take them home--your friend interrupts. Ladies and gentlemen, not now nor will it ever be okay to interfere on someone's romance life.  Look, if you are miserable and lonely at the bar, there are many ways to make yourself look desirable. Like, talk to a server, hit the dance floor, or  find the another single person and start a non-storyteller conversation. Whatever diversion you use, just don't cock-block the friend having a good time. 

No one likes anyone who performs any of these inappropriate behaviors, and in the event you do... then you are probably single, alone, and going to stay that way for a very long time.  Do yourself a favor,  the next time you and your entourage are about to head out....remind them of the "BUZZ KILLER" checklist!-LisH