Know Your Worth

Ever feel like you give 100% and people take advantage of that? Whether you are the person who dedicates unpaid extra hours at work and overlooked for promotions; or the friend whom everyone calls but get their voicemail 7 out of 10 times. Regardless of the scenario I think it's safe to say giving your all is disappointing when you only receive 20% back.

As a child I would watch my father do noble acts and receive nothing in return. Like build a 100 yard garden filled with vegetables, then spend his downtown maintaining it which was expensive.  I was confused when people picked his produce and he never asked for money. I would ask why he did nice things for people that never did for him, and he responded "I do because I can and I will always give if I have."

So here I am following suit. Anyone who knows my family can vouch we are kind. But sometimes people take kindness for weakness, and that is something I have a problem with.  So for everyone who is tired of being the person who gives their best yet never receives in return this BLOG IS FOR YOU.

Lately I've watched people do the most tacky and toxic things. In fact it's the kind of behavior you would expect from high school kids, but not adults. I thought people stopped gossiping and backstabbing after 23, but I find it's not an age issue; more a maturity thing. I work in corporate America and see people do unethical things just to get ahead, which makes me question if I should re evaluate my own character to move forward? Not to mention I had "friends" whom smile in your face over lunch, yet spread your business by dinner.

I had almost accepted this was natural behavior by humans,  but now I've realized you have the choice to allow that negativity in your life. I see why people have few friends they trust, because there are a lot of selfish individuals in the world. Look I was NEVER good at playing follow the leader, so if I see someone that screams unloyal, dishonest, and conniving I will be the first to walk away. I believe in the Law of Attraction, and if you surround yourself with negativity eventually that is all you will reap.

So there is no need to settle in life. If you want to maintain giving 100% that is fine, BUT by no means let people take advantage of that. Be strong and know when to stick up for yourself by acknowledging and confronting people.  If someone (co workers, friends, family) can't see your worth, then they are NOT worth your time.  I think Albert Einstein said it the best:

So never feel guilty about giving your all or being happy, rather surround yourself with people whom appreciate it. -LisH

Fall into FashioN!

Football season is here, and the crispy brisk wind is arriving to stay. Only one word to describe this: FALL.  If the weather is changing so is your wardrobe. No need to worry, you can recycle some of your favorites. This blog has all the details you need to prepare for your seasonal change (INCLUDING WINTER) at a budget price!

First thing:

Get a box and determine what will stay, and what shall GO! When sifting through your clothes think two things: soft and subtle. You want to steer clear of bright colors, (like fluorescent) and focus on warm ( brown, pumpkin orange, black). A few things you can take from your summer closet are 

• blue jean shorts
• summer dresses
• long tank tops
• skirts
• stripe shirts (DOUBLE PLUS!) 

Now, to make these items work, we need a few accessories from the store. 

Tights/stockings (these will be your new BEST FRIEND)

Cardigan

Scarf

Close toe flats 

Pair of black pumps

Ladies, these few things can make a tremendous tribute to your closet. Sometimes we get overwhelmed trying to pair things, but truth is; simple can be the sexiest-- just OWN your look!  So grab jeans, shirt, add a jacket and black shoes; and conquer your day! 

Below are a few looks from Fashion and Beauty Tips, for Fall. Click HERE to check out more. 

Simple: grab tights, shirt, cardigan, and top it off with a  scarf  and flats. 

Grab those black pumps and put them to use with your tights, and long tee. 

Just take your ripped jeans and throw on a tee. This always look sexy and chic.

Same look, just substitute cardigan for a plaid button down, and add a beanie. (Don't forget your combat boots.) 

Get that summer dress, and rock it with some tights. 

If you have a blazer, pair it with some denim jeans and shirt! 

To speak or not to speak, is the question.

Is it just me, or do people take the "truth" as an insult. Everyone says they're real; but truth is, they are REAL fake. People claim they can handle the truth, but the minute you speak your mind; all hell breaks loose.

I want to discuss the topic of honesty, because every individual has been in the situation where you were blurting the truth, or taking brutal honesty. While I've played each role, I can not say I've performed the best reactions in either dilemma. Regardless, I've decided talking and getting feedback may be a great remedy in reaching a kosher approach.

Ever heard the saying, "it's not what you say, it's how you say it?"  That's the golden rule when approaching any sticky situation.

For instance, ever had a friend/girlfriend ask if an outfit made her look fat? (God forbid she end with "be honest, you won't hurt my feelings") You do not want to say yes, because that will make her insecure; but you also don't want her looking like shamoo's twin. So what do you do? Simple, tell a "white lie."

First, you answer the question by stating:
"Girl, you do NOT look fat" (emphasis the not)
and quickly throw in,
"I think you would look sexier in," and name the first top that pops in your head.
In this situation, a lie is necessary because telling a girl she's fat is a NO NO. However, the next time you notice something unhealthy point it out nonchalantly. Like when getting food,
"hmmm think we should opt for a healthy breakfast verse fast food this morning"
This balances out the lie, and she will totally thank you for it when she's sliding in her skinny jeans! :)

That is an easy (probably redundant) scenario, but what about the instances in which we're caught off guard.
Like your best friend whom you love to death; but want to slap when they're in a diva mode. I'll recall a specific scenario; but change the names for privacy purposes.

Once upon a time there was a girl name Tia who had a friend named Anna. Now Anna and Tia weren't best friends, but they hung out with a group of people that were their best friends. Tia was very cautious not to hang out with Anna, because Anna's best friends would bad mouthed her. They never said Anna was conniving, just narcissistic and immature. One day Tia and Anna were hanging out, and Tia got a big whiff of Anna's BULL CRAP. Without thinking, Tia gave Anna two dosefuls of reality in the best way possible. In that moment, they were 2 things that could happen:

1. Anna could be mature, and talk about the situation
2. Anna could b$#% slap Tia


Luckily Anna chose route number one, and thanked Tia for being honest. She apologized if she acted immature and selfish, but she was more baffled her best friends were acting two faced. At the end of the conversation, Tia and Anna were closer than ever, due to the fact Tia was able to express the truth (in a polite manner), and Anna respected her honesty.

Every time I think back to this situation, I can't help but smile at how REAL people are able to take criticism. I encourage people to start being honest, so it alleviates the drama in real life. Lets face it, we are not going to like everything about everybody, but when something is bothering you-- speak up. Mature people can respect honesty. Let the immature scoundrels remain egotistical and naive. -LisH

Time-outs: Making relationships easier

Do you have that special someone or certain friend you would do ANYTHING for? Short on cash you spot them, car breaks down you lend them a ride, and not to mention the late night tearful phone calls. These acts decipher the relationship between acquaintances and friends. 

But lets face it, sometimes people ( no matter who they are: family, friends, spouse) get on your DAMN nerves; and for that God invented “Time outs”!  Time outs are the exact act you need when the person you care for is out of line or annoying. Time outs  typically last anywhere from two days to two weeks, and in this time period you miss the person and appreciate them all over again.

Time out sessions are necessary for these relationships because a majority of the situations in which you are aggravated are due to the persons faults or personality traits. Meaning, they didn’t necessarily do anything (terribly) wrong, but their actions are intolerable and bug the heck out of you. 

Instances this applies to:

The: best friends, people you party with, co- worker genre--

Everyone has a best friend in which you do everything together; get drinks, shop, gym ect. Yet sometimes they say or do things which makes you look at them like “OMG you are annoying me, please shut the hell up!”  

I use the word look because you wouldn’t dare tell a good friend they are aggravating you; when they're simply being a friend. A good example of this is the friend who complains to you each week about how their spouse is cheating on them wrong; and each week you give them the same advice. Low and behold, they come crying to you the next week with the same problem, and you are sick and tired of listening to the bull. Instead of explaining how you give the same advice over and over,  let a time out heal the situation and distance yourself from the person. Maybe you can appreciate the persons struggle when you don't hear it so often. 

DRASTIC MEASURES:

Now sometimes people (including yourself) perform selfish acts, in which we feel terrible afterwards. This could be dating a best friends ex, missing an important event, or telling a deep secret. Instead of writing the relationship off--give it a time out.  For instance, have you ever had one to many drinks and said something to your friend that was true, but it came out the wrong way?Instead of apologizing to the friend a thousand times, send a nice email, and expect a time out! Eventually they will have time to build trust, and will come with the next juicy gossip! 

Life is to short to hold grudges, and be mad! Apply the timeout method to the people who really matter; and let karma deal with the rest! -LisH

Situational Dillema's

I tend to think some actions should have automatic reactions, but I'm finding it's  quite an opinionated world. When I give advice to my friends, I notice it's different from other people's thoughts. I would like people to comment on a topic, see if we have a similar theory.

For this blog, please comment (@ BOTTOM OF PAGE) how you feel about the following situation. There is no right or wrong answer, just the beauty of indifference.

Is it ever okay to date your BEST-FRIENDS (serious) ex?


-LisH

First Date Wardrobe

Ladies, before a date do you rampage through your closet looking for sexy outfit? Are you torn between your skinny jeans and fitted tee, or maxi dress with sandals? No matter what decision, your ultimate goal is to accentuates all your assets! 

As I've been dining out, I've found myself analyzing couples "first date" wardrobes. Some girls look uncomfortable fidgeting with their top, while others appear they took tips from their 80 year old grandmother.  So say goodbye to your ballerina flats, and get ready to accompany a sizzling outfit that will have your date biting their lip. 

Lunch Date-- 
For a "day date" don't doll it up to much; but DON'T let the girl next to you look better. The trick: give yourself an out on the city look.  If it's summer, opt for a cute sun dress. These are readily available at Charlotte Rouse or Forever 21 at ridiculously low prices.

Forever 21

Accessorize it with popping jewelry, and give your hair an "out of bed" look.

Forever 21

Forever 21

Forever 21

Dinner Date-
Now Dinner is a little more difficult. You want to be presentable if he takes you somewhere elegant; yet sexy for the drink scene. This solution is simple: the infamous LBD! (Little Black Dress) No girl can go wrong with this, and trust me: he will want you after hello.
For the first date you need an LBD that screams " look at me" in a subtle way. For dresses like this there is one place to go: Victoria Secret!

Victoria Secret

Once again, you want a dress that allows you to blend in with a crowd... but  gives you and undeniable sex appeal. ( SAME dress!)

Victoria Secret

Don't stop there-- accessorize with eye popping shoes and clutch!













"Anytime of the day" outfit-
If there is one thing you should have in your closet it's...

• Pair of skinny's
• 3 in heels
• Flattering Tee
• Cute handbag 

This section is really simple. There should always be a top in your wardrobe that fits you perfectly. Pair that with your skinnys, a cute hand bag, and you are good to go!

Ladies that's it. You should no longer be rocking frumpy outfits out on the town. All of these fab catches are under a $100.00. So get to shoppng, and make that man come begging for more! -LisH

The 3 W's to a Sexy Self EsteeM

Has anyone experienced the "Debbie Downer" friend who has nothing positive to say? I am referring to the the person you greet "Good morning" and they reply "oh yea, whats so good about it?" These people drive me crazy and I find they need a lifestyle makeover! After following Alisha's 3 majical W's

• Work
• Weight 
• Wardrobe

One will start to see results and feel rejuvenated.



First aspect: WORK

Are you depressed every Monday morning? Well ladies and gentlemen, this is called "hatemyjob- i-tis" and the diagnosis is: quit. People are unhappy with their lives because they can not find a successful career. While quitting may not be the best option, it will force you to look for new alternatives. I am saying this because I myself went through it.

Everyday I woke up, feeling as though my life was crumbling, and my job had no relevance to my future. So I quit and was a on a serious hunt for a   CAREER. I spent  everyday looking and finally got an offer at a Fortune 5oo Fashion Merchandising position.

If you are feeling the same way, then make a difference now. Make it a point to only apply for jobs you would enjoy waking up too. The new challenge will alleviate that nasty tension, and eventually you will start to see a positive break though.

Second aspect: WEIGHT!
I know this is a touchy topic, but it's one I need to address. Typically people are upset with their "love life" (which is a major factor to happiness) when they feel their body image is not palatable. Correct me if I'm wrong, but have you heard this?

"I don't feel sexy anymore"
"I used to be prettier"
"I want abs like the model on the magazine."

If you are struggling with weight issues and feel you don't look sexy, stop complaining and do something about it. Feeling sexy is an important factor to a healthy self esteem. When you take pride in your appearance, you will start to build confidence; and that is a beautiful trait!

Anyone who knows me will validate I've always been outgoing and fun; but deep inside I was self conscience and overweight. Thank God for my brother, because he gave me the golden ticket to feeling fabulous: a gym membership.

The first couple of weeks I started off slow and would get on the elliptical for twenty minutes. After a month my brother inspired me with a few words:
            "You work out for 20 minutes, you're gonna get 20 minute results. You work out for an hour, you will get hour results. The decision is yours."

After that I took the initiative to eat right and exercise. Two years later I've lost 10 pounds and toned  many areas. More importantly I have confidence, which has led me to build great relationships.

So take my word and start exercising. While you may not see results over night, you will definitely start to feel better about yourself (which is all that matters!) Start by hitting the elliptical while watching your favorite show; I promise you will thank me later! :)

Third: WARDROBE
Coco Chanel sums up the last section, with a simple quote "I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness."  


Everyday I am surrounded by beautiful men and women; it brings me joy they take pride in themselves. While both factors (work and weight) are important, wardrobe is ultimately the icing on the cake. Mock my words when I say: sweats were created for laying around the house, and should rarely be worn in public. Also, one should retire some clothing after two years, and hide it back of closet until it becomes a vintage piece. I have 5 easy steps that will give your closet (and self esteem) a make over. 


1. Recycle-- Let's say you don't have the money to shop, after all we are recovering from a recession. Easy, create a swap session with friends your size. Simply bring clothes in good condition, and switch anything that accentuates your body. More friends, the merrier. 


2. Sales, Sales, Sales-- Whether its Wal-Mart or Gay Lords.. hit the sales rack! You will be surprised at how some items are fashionably trending at an affordable price. 


3. Outlet Stores- Find it hard to keep up with your friends designer fetish? Secret: Hit the outlets stores for a extremely discounted price. Check out google for the nearest mall with top brand stores, and head over on a  random weekend. 


4. Treasure Hunt-- Another great option is TJ Maxx, Marshalls, or Ross. While you may have to hunt until you find what you need, there are great outfits at low prices. 


5 .Thrift Shop-- Don't knock  it till you try it. I have found the coolest vintage attire when hitting  Salvation Army. Tip: Hit the stores in richer areas; people tend to donate name brand clothes in great condition.


There you have it, simple steps to starting your new life. This Sunday grab a glass of wine, notepad, and start planning how you are going to change for the best!-LisH