To speak or not to speak, is the question.

Is it just me, or do people take the "truth" as an insult. Everyone says they're real; but truth is, they are REAL fake. People claim they can handle the truth, but the minute you speak your mind; all hell breaks loose.

I want to discuss the topic of honesty, because every individual has been in the situation where you were blurting the truth, or taking brutal honesty. While I've played each role, I can not say I've performed the best reactions in either dilemma. Regardless, I've decided talking and getting feedback may be a great remedy in reaching a kosher approach.

Ever heard the saying, "it's not what you say, it's how you say it?"  That's the golden rule when approaching any sticky situation.

For instance, ever had a friend/girlfriend ask if an outfit made her look fat? (God forbid she end with "be honest, you won't hurt my feelings") You do not want to say yes, because that will make her insecure; but you also don't want her looking like shamoo's twin. So what do you do? Simple, tell a "white lie."

First, you answer the question by stating:
"Girl, you do NOT look fat" (emphasis the not)
and quickly throw in,
"I think you would look sexier in," and name the first top that pops in your head.
In this situation, a lie is necessary because telling a girl she's fat is a NO NO. However, the next time you notice something unhealthy point it out nonchalantly. Like when getting food,
"hmmm think we should opt for a healthy breakfast verse fast food this morning"
This balances out the lie, and she will totally thank you for it when she's sliding in her skinny jeans! :)

That is an easy (probably redundant) scenario, but what about the instances in which we're caught off guard.
Like your best friend whom you love to death; but want to slap when they're in a diva mode. I'll recall a specific scenario; but change the names for privacy purposes.

Once upon a time there was a girl name Tia who had a friend named Anna. Now Anna and Tia weren't best friends, but they hung out with a group of people that were their best friends. Tia was very cautious not to hang out with Anna, because Anna's best friends would bad mouthed her. They never said Anna was conniving, just narcissistic and immature. One day Tia and Anna were hanging out, and Tia got a big whiff of Anna's BULL CRAP. Without thinking, Tia gave Anna two dosefuls of reality in the best way possible. In that moment, they were 2 things that could happen:

1. Anna could be mature, and talk about the situation
2. Anna could b$#% slap Tia


Luckily Anna chose route number one, and thanked Tia for being honest. She apologized if she acted immature and selfish, but she was more baffled her best friends were acting two faced. At the end of the conversation, Tia and Anna were closer than ever, due to the fact Tia was able to express the truth (in a polite manner), and Anna respected her honesty.

Every time I think back to this situation, I can't help but smile at how REAL people are able to take criticism. I encourage people to start being honest, so it alleviates the drama in real life. Lets face it, we are not going to like everything about everybody, but when something is bothering you-- speak up. Mature people can respect honesty. Let the immature scoundrels remain egotistical and naive. -LisH